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by Arke



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Ficlet, Fluff, M/M, Shepard's Hoodie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 09:44:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11711820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arke/pseuds/Arke
Summary: Shepard and Kaidan steal little moments throughout their journey amongst the stars.  After all, as they say, life’s about the journey, not the destination.And if you’re lucky, the journey leads you home.





	Home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mareel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mareel/gifts), [AnnaRaven](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaRaven/gifts).



> For the fantastic Mareel and the amazing AnnaRaven! <3  
> Thanks to [sparkly_butthole](http://archiveofourown.org/users/sparkly_butthole) for being my lovely beta!

With the _Normandy_ docked at the designated spaceport, the view from the Starboard Observation lounge may very well have been the best on the Citadel.  Out there, the Wards reached out toward the cloudy nebula behind it, into the vast reaches of space, the scattered lights on the station’s arms flickering in time with distant stars.

 _Out there_ was impossibly infinite.

But here, sitting with the man he loved, he had a space all his own, a tiny piece of the universe shared with the only star he had ever needed, burning bright and warm.

Moments like this were rare: Kaidan’s head resting on his shoulder, Kaidan’s arm wrapped around his, Kaidan’s fingers entwined with his, joined hands lying peacefully atop their thighs.  The galaxy kept turning slowly just outside the window, yet the warmth of Kaidan’s hand made time stand still.  Time stood still, and it meant everything.

Shepard let his head rest against Kaidan’s, soft hair brushing against the rough stubble on his cheek, and closed his eyes, breathed it all in, lived the moment as it was.

Kaidan shifted against him, nestling his cheek against Shepard’s shoulder.  Shepard smiled when he heard Kaidan sigh, slow and light and content.

“What are you thinking about right now?” Shepard asked.

Kaidan chuckled under his breath, the edges of a smile pulling against the fabric of Shepard’s hoodie.  That hoodie with the red and white stripes tracing down Shepard’s arm, the embroidered _N7_ just a bit off-center from the strong heart that beat beneath it, the black fabric still surprisingly soft after all this time.  That hoodie with the fraying hemlines and worn pockets, such a gentle touch whenever they sat together like this, wrapped up in the warmth between them, in each other.

Kaidan thought about such things a little too often.

“Nothing much in particular,” he answered.

Shepard’s smile grew a little wider.  “Hm,” he breathed, and then he pressed a kiss to the top of Kaidan’s head.

Kaidan watched the lights flicker outside the window – from the life aboard the Citadel, from the stars sparkling against the black canvas of space – and remembered the way he had dreamed as a kid, gaze trained on the night sky with a sense of wonder.  And whenever he held Shepard close and looked into his eyes, Kaidan found the galaxy reflected back at him, hope shining amidst the brilliant blue sea of stars.

Kaidan closed his eyes.  “John…”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for this.”

Shepard cocked an eyebrow, not that Kaidan could see it.  “For what?”

“This,” he said simply, his voice low and soft, like he was drifting into a dream.  “Just… this.  This moment right here.”

He stroked Kaidan’s hand with his thumb, gentle and appreciative.  A small reminder that they were here, together, artificial gravity holding them to the floor and a shared dream holding them together.

Kaidan had said something like that before.

_“They say that ‘life’s about the journey, not the destination.’  But maybe it’s not about our chances, or about the fight itself, either… maybe it’s about the moments we have in between, what time we can carve out for ourselves, you know?  Maybe it’s about having a little space we can call our own.”_

And when Kaidan fell asleep at his side, Shepard squeezed the man’s hand a little tighter.

He was home.

 

* * *

 

Kaidan woke some hours later, taking a deep breath of the familiar recycled air in the Starboard Observation lounge, shifting only slightly as he drifted out of his dream.  He opened his eyes, gaze drowsily darting back and forth between the Ward arms still visible through the window, and finally felt an odd pang settle low in his stomach; he had been sleeping on his side on the couch, and Shepard was gone.

Kaidan sighed.  Shepard had likely gone ashore for a meeting or some other task.  The moments never lasted as long as he wished they could.

He shifted, bracing one hand on the edge of the couch for leverage, but then hesitated when something soft moved with him.  Bundled up on the couch was Shepard’s hoodie, left for Kaidan as a pillow.  He could still feel the warmth of Shepard’s body, still breathe in the scent of him, still feel the air about him so much lighter and free whenever he smiled and laughed. 

It was like Shepard had never left.

He pushed himself up to a sitting position and then brought the hoodie to his face, closing his eyes as he felt the warmth spread over his cheeks, the fabric soft against his lips and pliant in his hold.

“EDI,” he said, smiling when his voice was muffled by the material, “where’s Shepard right now?”

“He is currently in his cabin,” came her voice from the panel at the opposite wall.  “I had instructions to ensure your rest was not disturbed.  Shall I inform him that you wish to speak with him?”

“No,” he said as he began to unfold the hoodie.  “Let’s keep this a surprise.”

“Very well, Major.”

Kaidan stood up and put the hoodie on, zipping it up over his uniform.  It fit surprisingly well, contouring his broad shoulders and the planes of his muscles like it did Shepard’s, still warm and welcoming like being wrapped up in Shepard’s embrace, Shepard’s strong arms around his back and Shepard’s firm hands at his waist and Shepard’s chest brushing against his with every breath, every awkward laugh, every heated kiss.

The elevator ride up to Shepard’s cabin was short, and Kaidan was smiling the entire time.

When he arrived at Deck 1, he found the lock mechanism on the door glowing with that invitingly green hue.  He let himself inside, his grin growing a little wider when he saw Shepard perk up from his post at his desk chair.  With the final pneumatic hiss of the door closing behind him, Shepard returned the smirk and rose to his feet to meet Kaidan’s eyes properly.

Not that he spent too much time focused on them.

“I believe you forgot your hoodie,” Kaidan said, and Shepard looked up at him.

The little quirk of Kaidan’s eyebrow complemented his lingering grin so well.

Shepard pursed his lips.  “Oh, did I?  My mistake.”

“You might not get it back,” Kaidan said, a breathy chuckle catching at the end.  “It’s actually pretty comfy.”

“I’ll let you hang on to it for a while.”

“Heh, thanks.”  Kaidan’s grin faded into an awkward smile, just a little upturn of the lips.  “Being wrapped up in this is so… I-I mean, it’s… it’s comfortable.  It’s like home.”

At that moment, Shepard just looked at him.  The way he wore the hoodie like it was made for him, fraying seams and worn elastic somehow suiting the old soldier he knew he was.  The way the light from the aquarium cast shadows over the sharp contours of his face, every worry line and every scar, every tiny detail that Shepard had long ago memorized. 

Shepard smiled.  He knew exactly what Kaidan meant.

“Sorry I couldn’t be there to see you wake up,” he said.

Kaidan shrugged.  “I figured you must’ve gone ashore.”

“Yeah, just for a bit.”

“So how’d it go?”

Shepard turned away and fished through one of his desk drawers, then held up a bottle.

“More whiskey, John?” Kaidan asked, that teasing tone of his voice making Shepard’s heart skip a beat just like it always had.  But then Kaidan hesitated, eyes fixed on the bottle and smile contorting with the shy laugh that escaped him.  “…O-Oh,” he stammered, eyes flicking up to meet Shepard’s, “John, this is really good stuff.  I, uh… imagine that set you back quite a few credits.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“What’s the occasion?”

“We’re celebrating us.”

“Us?”

“Yeah.”  Something softened in Shepard’s eyes.  “You and me.  That’s reason enough to celebrate.  That’s… all I’ve ever really wanted, Kaidan.  You, here, with me.”

“John…  Yeah, okay.  I’m sold.”

Shepard laughed and shook his head.  “That easily, huh?”

Shepard had never needed many words to say exactly what he wanted.  Even with his guard down, a flawed man without the stoic soldier façade, Shepard had never been one for too many words.  But Kaidan had always been able to read him so easily, knowing every word that hid beneath the surface, buried beneath the appreciative smile and the little creases at the corners of his eyes.

_“Thank you.”_

_“Being with you is like coming home.”_

_“I love you.”_

“Yeah,” Kaidan said, taking a single step toward him.  “And I’m not just saying that so we can crack open that bottle already.”

Shepard moved the bottle out of reach and took a fistful of that hoodie in his free hand.

“Later.  You look damn good in that hoodie, Major, but I think you’d look better out of it.”

Kaidan chuckled under his breath as that hand began to tease the zipper down.

“Aye aye, Commander.”


End file.
